Mean Girl
by riderofdragons
Summary: Naruto asks Sakura out on a date. Hinata tries to confess her feelings. Everyone learns something new about the blonde. A stupid, silly, little song fic intended for laughs. At least read before you make up your mind.


A/N: I couldn't help it. I heard the song and this scene just poured out. Review, flame, whatever. I damn near ROFLed as I was writing this, hopefully you'll enjoy it as well.

OOOOO

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, which is probably a good thing considering this little diversion…

Mean Girl

"Today's the day." Hinata stood in the shadow behind one of the taller buildings on this particular street. "Today is the day that I confess my feelings to Naruto-_kun_."

"Sakura-_chan_!" Naruto came running out of the Hokage's tower after the pink haired kunoichi. "Come on! We don't have any more missions today! Let's go out on a date!"

"_Baka_ Naruto." Sakura brought her fist down into the top of Naruto's skull. "I've told you a thousand times, I'm not going to go out with you."

Hinata felt every muscle of her body tense as she watched Sakura hit Naruto. "She's so mean to him. He doesn't deserve that!" Spurred with righteous anger, Hinata separated from the shadows and began to move in on the quailing teammates."

Sakura looked up and saw the young Hyuuga approaching, and praised her good luck that a distraction had come along. "Hi there Hinata-_chan_!"

Naruto turned as well. "Oh, Hi Hinata!"

Hinata blushed furiously and had to fight to maintain her consciousness. "Oh, h-hello there."

"You come to get a mission Hinata?" Naruto, always easily distracted, moved on from his less than successful courtship of Sakura to make small talk with the other girl. "_Baa-chan_ doesn't have to many to give out, but she's nicer to you than she is to me. You might get a good one."

Hinata shook her head. "No, I don't have any missions today. I was thinking of going to get something to eat for lunch…"

Sakura's eyes gleamed. It was a well-established fact that that Hinata had a crush on Naruto. If she could hook the two of them up, Hinata would get what she wanted. More importantly, Naruto would have his time otherwise occupied and stop asking Sakura out on dates. "Really?" She feigned surprise. "Naruto was just asking me to lunch, but I can't go. Maybe the two of you could go together and keep each other company. You know? Make it a little date."

Hinata blinked repeatedly unsure of how to respond at first to the suggestion. "A date? I…um…well…that is…"

"I'm sorry." Naruto shook his head. "But I can't go on a date with you Hinata."

Hinata looked crest fallen.

Sakura looked like her head was about to explode. "Why the hell not?!"

Naruto scratched the back of his head a moment as his trademark full-face grin appeared. "It's because…" There was a cloud of smoke and suddenly there was a group of shadow clones holding instruments made from more shadow clones using _henge no jutsu_.

**I'm in love with mean girl**

**I'm in love…**

Naruto suddenly shifted behind Hinata as the band broke into a fast rock song. Causing both girls to jump, as they had never seen the blonde move so fast. In the mean time, Naruto continued to sing.

**Bum luck will you never know**

**I'm not in love with you**

**A nice girl flown around a pretty girl limbo**

**I'm not in love with you**

**Not a mean body in her bone I said**

**I'm not in love with you**

**I love her like a bullet to the back of the head**

**I'm not in love with you**

Naruto vanished from behind Hinata and reappeared behind Sakura in a plume of smoke. As usual he was grinning like a fool, but he was to committed now to back down. And so his performance continued.

**I'm in love with mean girl**

**I'm in love with you**

**I'm in love with**

**I'm in love with mean girl**

**I'm in love with you**

**I'm in love**

Sakura now had steam pouring from her ears. "Mean girl? You jerk!" Her fist came up into a vicious Sakura style upper cut that launched Naruto high into the air. Naruto seemed to anticipate this though and grabbed onto the spire at the top of the Hokage tower and spun around it a few times before landing back down behind Hinata. Startling her so much that he was forced to catch her before she fell.

**Lookin' like a schoolgirl dressed to kill**

**I'm not in love with you**

**A pretty girl dress would make a mean girl ill**

**I'm not in love with you**

**Like Jon Bonham locked to a doctor beat**

**I'm not in love with you**

**I need a mean girl to knock me off my feet**

**I'm not in love with you**

Hinata was sure she was near crying at this point. To have Naruto so close, even holding her, yet telling her that he didn't love her.

"Naruto! You jackass!" Sakura began to storm towards the blonde with murder in her eyes. Not only was he embarrassing her, he was hurting Hinata, and she wasn't going to stand by and let that happen. Before she could make a move though, Hinata was again alone and Naruto had quite literally swept Sakura off her feet. As she was carried about, Naruto continued to sing.

**I'm in love with mean girl**

**I'm in love with you**

**I'm in love with**

**I'm in love with mean girl**

**I'm in love with you**

**I'm in love**

Sakura had had enough, and the elbow strike to Naruto's nose conveyed that sentiment. "Stop this at once!" Even as Naruto dropped to the ground in a heap, he was already recovering and never once lost the beat.

**I just want mean girl to be nasty and fine**

**You just want mean girl to be nasty and mine**

**So what you say**

**I just want mean girl to be nasty and fine**

**You just want mean girl to be nasty and mine**

**One, two, three, four!**

**I just want mean girl to be nasty and fine**

**You just want mean girl to be nasty and mine**

"Naruto!" Sakura bellowed. "I swear to _Kami_ if you don't shut up I'm going to make one of Tsunade-_sama's_ beatings look like walk through park! Do you hear me?!"

Hinata was near a nervous break down as she watched the beating Naruto was taking. "And he's still confessing his love for Sakura…" She paused. "Or…is he?"

**I'm in love with mean girl**

**I'm in love with you**

**I'm in love with**

**I'm in love with mean girl**

**I'm in love with you**

**I'm in love**

"That's it!" Hinata suddenly realized. "That's been it all this time!"

**I'm in love with mean girl**

**I'm in love with you**

**I'm in love with**

Hinata ran through the hand seals she needed quickly. "_Henge no Jutsu_!"

Naruto turned as the smoke cleared, and his eyes went wide as his head tilted sideways like a confused puppy. Before him stood Hinata, but unlike he'd ever seen her before. She was dressed in black leather and a corset. She even had a long whip in her right hand.

**I'm in love with mean girl**

**I'm in love with you**

Naruto made no movement as Hinata walked towards him, extended her left hand, and closed a collar around his neck. He had his large full-face grin on as she led him down the streets of Konoha by his new leash.

**I'm in love**

Sakura stared, completely dumbfounded, as the seemingly new couple vanished into the busy street traffic. "What the hell just happened?" She jumped as there was a poof of smoke behind her. "Kakashi-_sensei_?!"

Kakashi held out one of his infamous little orange books. "Chapter seventeen will explain everything." With that he vanished again into a swirl of leaves.

Sakura opened the book, screamed, and promptly fainted with a large amount of foam at her mouth.

End


End file.
